When I threw my diet out the window, it must have landed in thick foliage, because I haven't been able to find it since.
I admit it, I am an all or nothing sort of personality. And when stress comes to town, I generally lean toward the "nothing" end of the spectrum. Until I can't handle it anymore and I push myself to do everything, thus burning myself out, creating more stress and going back to doing nothing.
Don't get me wrong...I get stuff done daily. Lots of it, in fact. I'm just no good at following a schedule or any sort of regimented anything (like counting calories). So, where diet is concerned, it's hard for me to stick with it. Especially when I'm overwhelmed. And I am. And the diet is down the drain. Among other things.
The way that Joel and I have been living the past 7 months is sheer craziness. Him with three jobs, me with a ton of lessons and getting the kids where they need to go, keeping them fed and in clean clothes and having the house ship shape. And we hardly ever see each other. And I think it has all come to that point where I can't take it anymore. I can't live like this because something's gotta give.
So, today, being Thursday, the day after the worst day of the week and the day I have no commitments (except traffic school tonight...but that's a whole 'nother issue). I let the pendulum swing toward "all."
I cleaned the kitchen, which included 3 days worth of dishes (so horrible, I know), from top to bottom. Scrubbed everything. Swept and mopped. I scrubbed both bathrooms and they are now sparkling. I cleaned up my scrapbook mess from the scrapping binge I went on the other day to the detriment of the dishes. I organized my stuff, even. I deep cleaned all three bedrooms. I vacuumed. I did approximately 59 loads of laundry and folded most of it. I wiped down every piece of bloomin' furniture in my house. Paid some bills. I didn't ignore my children, although I tried to redirect their attention as much as possible. I supervised homework and practicing. I even made dinner. And if you know me, you know that this is the most amazing thing I've done all day because I try to leave that particular task to my husband as often as I possibly can.
It feels good. The only things I haven't gotten to are cleaning off this very desk (okay, so I guess I lied. I wiped down all but one piece of furniture in my house.) and folding the rest of the laundry. Who knew that it would take me all the livelong day to do so much and feel like I have so little to show for it? I really know in my head that it is easier to keep up than it is to catch up, but I never feel successful like that. I have tried Fly lady and the S.H.E. cardfile system. I've made millions of my own little systems, all designed to do a little every day in order to keep up. I cannot keep my attention on those things for more than a week, usually.
I have decided to embrace my A.D.D. nature and just continue on the way I am. It has worked okay for me my entire life and it works okay for me now. I do think if I learned how to handle stress better it wouldn't get quite as difficult.
For the time being, I'm just hoping that the house will stay clean so that I can do something relaxing tomorrow. Like scrapbook. And try to kick start my diet for the fifth time this week.